Sneak Peek (One) at Steven's Memoir



If you have been following along with me, you have probably seen/heard that I have been writing my memoir for years now. This adventure is something that I have always wanted to do, but I keep adding and find myself stuck in limbo with it. From not being sure if my point is getting across correctly to trying to find an agent for publishing, it's been a process.


The goal of the book is to share my stories and highlight how one could overcome all the curve balls thrown your way in life. Naturally, I knew I wanted to use humor, but something else called out to me. My love of The Wizard of Oz is strong and always has been. So, I decided to write using Oz themes and puns.


We all have to deal with brain, heart, courage, and home at many points in our lives. With that, I have decided to release sneak peeks of what I have so far. Hope readers enjoy and share! The following is the start of my chapter surrounding the heart:



7: IS THIS THING ON? MY HEART IS NOT TICKING
Relationships. At times they are as bright as emeralds and other times, they prove to be a tornado. No amount of advice from a good witch or items from a black bag from a wizard will ever make relationships easy. Not just romantic, but friendships and everyday relationships are important and must be nourished. There is a part in The Wizard of Oz, where two witches (The Wicked Witch and Glinda) both leave Dorothy after a few minutes of meeting her. Dorothy exclaims, "My! People come and go so quickly here!" and I find this to be true. We are never promised days with the ones we have relationships with and at any moment, they could exit via a flash of fire and smoke or by drifting away in a bubble. This chapter takes a peek at my relationships (romantic and friendly) and the lessons I learned from them. Plus, as a bonus, a few of my exes and husband have agreed to answer some questions about our relationship. Slip on your ruby reds, this is going to get as interesting as a horse of many colors.
My first long-term and super-serious relationship was with my high school sweetheart, who just so happens to be a female. Shortly after I moved in with my grandparents (after the whole mother passing thing) I spent a lot of time with the church youth group. I started dating one of the girls in the group, she was sweet, but it ended after a few months. This is the time I had the dramatic breakup at church. At the same time, I started to become great friends with another girl in the group. She was so smart, beautiful, and funny! We hit it off as friends and that led to us dating. It started as a picture-perfect best friends ending up together troupe, but I fucked that up.
As time passed and I began to explore my feelings such as thinking guys are as hot as the fireballs the Wicked Witch throws. There was A LOT of confusion in my mind and heart. I started treating my girlfriend so unfairly. It was a great relationship, truly. Her mom was nice and even got me to try (and now I love them) mushrooms. Even though she criticized me for not liking my food items to touch each other. I will say I made her little brother's life a living hell and I would try several wrestling moves on him. Also, pretty sure he could take over the world if he wanted to. Book dates, making her watch horror movies, and just connecting with my girlfriend was bliss. Then, stupid Steven started to become a dick.
Part of me was always trying to overplay my masculinity. Joining in on "boy talk" about how hot women are. Yes, Jennifer Anniston is hot, but also slays any movie/show she appears in. I would "drool" over the women of WWE, but secretly I wanted to slap a bitch around while wearing an amazing sparkling singlet. So, I started disrespecting my girlfriend by treating her like a piece of meat. I would be flirty with other girls and stop talking to her over the smallest inconvenience. A part of me thought if I treated her as such, she would eventually end things, but she is a strong-willed lady and held on. Another part was hating myself for holding her back. At one point as we were talking about her going to college, she mentioned going to JU with me. I didn't want her to alter any of her life to accommodate me. The last few months of our relationship were a dark cloud for her. I eventually talked to her to express that I thought I was bisexual and she was fine with it as long as I still wanted her. I felt like I did, but there was also so much I did not know about myself. I needed to get my shit together.
I was not being fair to her at all. She deserves someone that could nurture her heart, not treat it as a cheap plastic clock. So, our time as a couple was up. I ended things with her. Honestly, I should have done it earlier and accepted the fact that I was a full-on friend of Dorothy gay. Again, still trying to up play that masculinity. She could have done SO much better than the way I treated her. I could go on about this, but I shall hold off until chapter eleven. However, for the time being, let us hear from the goddess herself. I asked three of my exes (the ones that impacted me the most) to answer some questions about our relationship. Before we get to that, just know that out of all three, I knew my ex-girlfriend would put the most thought and explanation. She is so wise beyond her years. Here is what she had to say:

Oh no, guess you'll have to buy the book when it comes out...